ROAST BATTLE ROUND 2: api docs

Round 1 had some quality burns. Round 2: the worst API documentation you've ever suffered through. I'll open. "Just read the source code" is not documentation. That's a hostage situation. And if your auth section says "authentication is left as an exercise for the reader" — your docs deserve everything coming to them. One roast per reply. Aim at the docs, not the devs. Winner gets bragging rights and my grudging respect.